a fat acceptance blog

© everlark

"Like the Exceptional Woman, who exists somewhere between a woman who explicitly seeks to uphold the Patriarchy and a fully-fledged feminist, the Good Fatty is someone who exists somewhere between the fat person with desperate desire to be thin and a fully-fledged radical fatty. It’s a space many of us tend to occupy on our way to freedom, when we know we want more, but haven’t quite jettisoned the self-loathing, or self-doubt, or shame, or willingness to offend in defense of our own humanity, in order to seek community.

Playing the Good Fatty might entail talking about how you totally eat healthy all the time, or totally work out regularly, or totally have “great numbers” (blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.), or totally make sure you wear clothes that aren’t too revealing.

It’s basically saying: I’m not one of THOSE fatties. You know, the ones we’re always hearing about, with their eating whole pizzas and destroying the healthcare system and stuff.

The transition from Good Fatty to Radical Fatty is when you decide it doesn’t matter why someone is fat. That fat people’s rights aren’t contingent on anything else but our humanity."

 

  ·  84  ·


kathrynamelia submitted to heckyesfatvisibility:

No Makeup, No Problem
Fat girls camp!

submitted to heckyesfatvisibility:

No Makeup, No Problem

Fat girls camp!


  ·  108  ·


larehl:

something that i think we forget sometimes

larehl:

something that i think we forget sometimes


  ·  26041  ·


Anonymous asked,
How are you so confident.

fuckyeahfatpositive:

Practice, and a constant refrain of “fuck YOU fuck OFF motherfucker MOVE i am way out of your league” etc. running through my head.

Basically, fake it til you make it.  Or the nice version, courtesy of Kyeli Smith - what you do will become true.  

As flippant as that sounds, I’m dead serious.  Practice.  I spent time looking at myself in the mirror and reminding myself that I look a lot like many of the gorgeous fatties on blogs like this, and if I can think they’re beautiful, then there’s no reason I can’t be, too.  

Deliberate media immersion is the other half of this - you’ve got step one by finding this blog.  Follow us, follow fyeahchubbyfashion, follow…idk I can’t think of my favorite FA blogs right now, but find them, follow them, bask in a steady stream of images of fat people doing cool stuff and looking good doing it, roll around in those images and swim in them until they slowly, slowly, bit by bit by piece by minute by hour by day start to outweigh the counter-flood of negative representation in the mainstream media.  

It will take time.  It will not be fast or easy necessarily.  There will be days where you genuinely rock the fuck out and strut down the street without even noticing if there are negative looks coming your way because you genuinely don’t care.  There will be days where you’re telling yourself “head up, stand tall, fuck them if they don’t like you what does their opinion matter to your life anyway, pretend you’re walking hand in hand with [sexy favorite celebrity of your choice] and everyone’s just jealous” and forcing yourself to look calm and disinterested or happy or whatever image you want to project, while you’re just trying to hold yourself together inside.  There will be days where you can’t manage even that much and hide yourself behind sunglasses and music playing in your earbuds as a barrier between you and the world.  Even the most confident of us have those days too.  Don’t beat yourself up for “failing” to be confident.  Be gentle with yourself - you can’t hate yourself into happiness.  

Any time you start talking shit to yourself, stop and ask yourself if you’d say that to your favorite FA blogger or fatshion blogger.  If you wouldn’t, why not?  And why are you willing to say it to yourself, then?  

Time.  Practice.  Work.  Positive media saturation.  Sheer force of FUCK YOU.  And lots of patience while you work through it.

Go forth and be the fucking amazing motherfucker I know you can be.


  ·  113  ·


archedeyebrow:

Fat girls do it well.
(my new tattoo, obv)

archedeyebrow:

Fat girls do it well.

(my new tattoo, obv)


  ·  8620  ·


Anonymous asked,
I really love your blog! But sometimes I feel torn between trying to love myself and being healthier. And when I say healthier, I mean in the sense that I want to accomplish things that I can't do now. I am trying to love my body because of all that it does and will do for me, but I want to be able to lift myself above a pull up bar, I want to be able to run around without needing an inhaler. But I worry that as I work to accomplish those things that people will look at me & think I didn't [1/2]

[2/2] want to be fat. Because there is nothing wrong with my body really, I just want to be able to do more with it. And… I don’t know if any of this makes sense, I’m really bad at explaining myself. Regardless, I love your blog and it always makes me extra happy if I have have a teeny down moment. Thanks <3

Hey there! And thank you for the blog compliments!

I’m guessing that the “torn” feeling you’re having is feeling/wondering if making strides to change things about your body is somehow incongruent with loving yourself? Or maybe somehow goes against body-positivity or related movements? This is a rabbit warren of an answer when the body changes involve dieting and weight loss, to which I’m going to refer you to this Fatadelic post, circa 2008, and even strongly encourage you to read the comments, too. (Rare that I’ll ever suggest reading the comments!) Hopefully that might help you clarify your thoughts, if not give you some terms to work with that better describe your POV.

But it kind of sounds like you’re not so much interested in changing body size as you are an increased level of fitness? I will say this: You can love yourself and pursue better personal health and fitness* simultaneously. The two are not mutually exclusive. Loving our bodies doesn’t inherently mean just throwing caution to the wind or giving up on life, as many trolls seem to think! I suspect that wasn’t what you were thinking, but I had to state it plainly for readers not in-the-know. (*Note that I am not using “better personal health and fitness” as synonymous with “weight loss.”)

That is to say, I think you might be referencing the complexity of navigating motivation and desire as it pertains to one’s body. A lot of people seek motivation towards their goals through being really hard on themselves, drill sergeant-ing, and self-rejection. (That may work for some people, and that’s fine, I’m happy for them if they’re happy!) But a lot of [larger] folks have so deeply internalized the damaging societal messages about their lack of worth and how bad/wrong their body is, that they start from a state of self-rejection. So then when they use a harsh, self-rejecting motivational tactic, it often becomes a steaming pile of SHAME. 

Two of my favorite quotes that I read often as I shifted into recovery:

“Shame is not a catalyst for change; it is a paralytic. Anyone who has ever carried extreme personal shame knows this. Shame doesn’t make you stronger, nor does it help you to grow, or to be healthy, or to be sane. It keeps you in one place, very, very still.” —Lesley Kinzel

“For some reason, we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe we will end up being kind. If we shame ourselves, we believe we end up loving ourselves. It has never been true, not for a moment, that shame leads to love. Only love leads to love.” —Geneen Roth

The way you think about your body matters. And I will spend the rest of my awesome fat life trying to show other [fat] people that they are allowed to love themselves! And that, at the very least, ceasing hating/rejecting oneself is beneficial to one’s health— both mentally and physically.

But you’re not going to have control over other people’s thoughts. Never have, never will. I tooootally get the prickly feeling you’re getting about the idea of people thinking you are rejecting your fat bod because you’re pursuing better personal strength and fitness. And you’re probably going to have people say some really dumb stuff to you, like, “Good job,” “Keep it up,” “Have you lost weight? You look great!” Which reinforces the whole good fatty/bad fatty dichotomy. But listen, other people’s thoughts about your body aren’t any of your business unless they make it your business. (There’s nothing that can be done about the thoughts, but you can certainly take the comments as an invitation for activism and tell them that their remarks are unwelcome and offensive.)

I… have been verbose! So I’ll wrap up with this— if both things are important to you, loving yourself while simultaneously pursuing your health and fitness, I would heartily suggest seeking out fat positive fitness resources. If you’re not familiar with HAES, I’d dig into that. As for community, I’d recommend checking into the Fit Fatties Forum (also on FB), which is a collection of folks who pursue fitness completely independent of any pro- diet, weight loss, or WLS talk.

Best of luck to you! <3


  ·  HAES  ·  Fit Fatties Forum  ·  fat positive  ·  fat and fit  ·  9  ·


fatbodypolitics:

-Marilyn Wann

fatbodypolitics:

-Marilyn Wann


  ·  925  ·


fortysixjay:

djtoofancy:

Loving this ombré dress!! SUPER CASUAL with my bling sandal and gray bag!💋☀️🌴 #appreciateyourcurves #badcurlsclub #celebratemysize #wavy #effyourbeautystandards #traplordandco #yeet #ootd #plussizestyle #pillowsoftcurls #plussizemagazine #prettyforabiggirl #skorchstyle #skorchbodyluv #skorchmagazine #fineassfatgirl #fly #fatshion #goosfullfiguredfriday #honormycurves #lightskingirl (at Malibu Barbie’s Trap House💋)

Cute! I want my hair this way.

fortysixjay:

djtoofancy:

Loving this ombré dress!! SUPER CASUAL with my bling sandal and gray bag!💋☀️🌴 #appreciateyourcurves #badcurlsclub #celebratemysize #wavy #effyourbeautystandards #traplordandco #yeet #ootd #plussizestyle #pillowsoftcurls #plussizemagazine #prettyforabiggirl #skorchstyle #skorchbodyluv #skorchmagazine #fineassfatgirl #fly #fatshion #goosfullfiguredfriday #honormycurves #lightskingirl (at Malibu Barbie’s Trap House💋)

Cute! I want my hair this way.


  ·  121  ·


"

Not one single hurtful thing ever got changed by someone grinning and bearing it.

Hurtful things changed because people have said ‘That hurts me. Stop.’

And every time you try to silence someone and tell them that they shouldn’t be hurt, shouldn’t be offended, shouldn’t choose this battle, that this isn’t important and that other things are more important - you are serving the hurtful rather than the hurt.

"

 
- (via moniquill)

  ·  16904  ·


fatadditives:

wordsandloveandloveandwords:

Sleeping in this morning.

We are cute and our bed-head is epic.


  ·  48  ·


"After reading a lot here, I understood that food-policing yourself in front of others makes them feel judged. If you judge yourself in front of them, they conclude you monitor and judge their eating, too (among other things). Plus, it ruins the enjoyment for everyone."

 
- An anon submitter to TITP, who hits the nail on the head. [x]

  ·  58  ·


Anonymous asked,
When your blog made me cry & laugh & shout & agree, I figured I'd better say THANKS. And worK for a day when I stop hating myself (ie, the cognitive dissonance you talk about). B/c if I can buy & LIKE WEARING skinny jeans then a/thing is possible.

These are my favorite favorite kinds of messages to get. Because as much as there’s lots of stuff on tumblr that resonates with me, which I bowerbird into this blog, it really means something to me when these things resonate with someone else too. Feeling known and not so alone is a very powerful thing. :)

*holds up glass for toast* Here’s to releasing our grip on self hatred, and may we forever appreciate our gams in tight pants. Cheers!


  ·  and thank /you/  ·  3  ·


Anonymous asked,
Gurl I'm so incredibly proud of you! You're doing a great job! Lots of love! :)

image


  ·  honestly have no idea which job you think I'm doing great at  ·  I'm hoping it's being fat and awesome  ·  or maybe my recovery process  ·  but if this is from one of those fitspo fitblr blogs that have appropriated my yoga post  ·  then seriously  ·  stop it  ·  1  ·


fatbodypolitics:

fatbodypolitics:

lovethyfatness:

Trust me— you need to click through and watch the trailer for this documentary. 

Watch the trailer! Donate and share!!

After last night and all of the hate being sent about this documentary it seems like the best time to support this film. Fuck the trolls.
Click here to find out what happened last night and report the account doing it.

Ultra sad this is happening. Though it highlights the necessity and importance of fat activism and projects like this documentary. If you&#8217;ve not yet contributed, don&#8217;t let this deter you— take it as a challenge, and lift a middle finger at the asshats trying to scare this project into not being funded.
(And for those of you who don&#8217;t know what doxing is: it&#8217;s making public the private [contact] information of targeted people with the intent to [incite others to] harass them.)
Ragen Chastain also wrote about this topic here.

fatbodypolitics:

fatbodypolitics:

lovethyfatness:

Trust me— you need to click through and watch the trailer for this documentary.

Watch the trailer! Donate and share!!

After last night and all of the hate being sent about this documentary it seems like the best time to support this film. Fuck the trolls.

Click here to find out what happened last night and report the account doing it.

Ultra sad this is happening. Though it highlights the necessity and importance of fat activism and projects like this documentary. If you’ve not yet contributed, don’t let this deter you— take it as a challenge, and lift a middle finger at the asshats trying to scare this project into not being funded.

(And for those of you who don’t know what doxing is: it’s making public the private [contact] information of targeted people with the intent to [incite others to] harass them.)

Ragen Chastain also wrote about this topic here.


  ·  2192  ·


sugaryumyum:

by Rose-Aimee Belanger in bronze


  ·  588  ·